Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Economics explained through cows.

My cousin Clive ,who lives in England, sent me a joke which I thought applied to the storage business perfectly. I only added one section at the end . I hope you enjoy it.

SOCIALISM:

You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.


COMMUNISM:

You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.


FASCISM:

You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.


NAZISM:

You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.


BUREAUCRATISM:

You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other,
then throws the milk away...


TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:

You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies,

and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.


AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the
milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.


A FRENCH CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the

roads, because you want three cows.


A JAPANESE CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size
of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a
clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market it worldwide.


A GERMAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years,
eat once a month, and milk themselves.


AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to
have lunch.


A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You

count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and

learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle
of vodka.


A SWISS CORPORATION:

You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners

for storing them.


A CHINESE CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that
you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the
newsman who reported the real situation.


AN INDIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You worship them.


A BRITISH CORPORATION:

You have two cows. Both are mad.


IRAQI CORPORATION:

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have
none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your
country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a
Democracy....


SURREALISM:

You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica

lessons


HONG KONG CAPITALISM:

You have two cows. You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed
company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank.
Then you execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so
that you get all 4 cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping 5 cows. The
milk rights of 6 cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary
to a Cayman Islandscompany secretly owned by the majority shareholder. He
sells the rights to all 7 cows' milk back to the listed company, and
proceeds from the sale are deferred. The annual report says that the
company owns 8 cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill
the 2 cows because the feng shui is bad.


NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION:

You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.


AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office
and go for a few beers to celebrate.


Storage vendor

You purchased a new milking machine for high reliability and the expected growth of your milking operation which currently consists of two cows. The hardware vendor cancels software and hardware support for the milking machine and requires you to purchase new hardware and software. They tell you that the new software and hardware provides higher availability than the older versions did. When you install the hardware you notice that the only difference is the Bezel and the debt you have incurred. The day after your upgrade is complete the salesman stops by and tells you that the hardware has been superseded by a newer version and you need to upgrade. The salesman is driving a brand new BMW 700 series.

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